emo

Lets see... I am at home, sick and kinda bored... So I decided to write! I am a little out of it today. I started Birth Control Yesterday so I am blaming my emotional state on that.
The other night I went on a date with a really cool kid. The only issue is it wasn't Taylor. Well, Tay asked about it and I told him I had a lot of fun. Well, I think in order to get back at me, he told me today he went to Emma's last night and had a lot of fun with Emma and Andy. And I am not going to lie, him not having drama with those two makes me happy, but the way he said it, it seemed like he was shoving it in my face. I didn't know how to react, so instead of being cool like I have been for the past couple of days with him, I completely broke down. I just started bawling for half hour.
I still am having a way hard time. I feel like I am fine, but I just feel like I could cry about anything and everything. I am not sure why, but I am going to blame the birth control.
Have you ever been stuck somewhere in your life, and not sure how you are going to get out of it? I am there. How do I move on? I want to wait for this kid because no one seems to understand how much I love him... He is perfect for me, and we are perfection together. You never will understand unless being in the situation. Altho I do have a lot of ppl who for the most part support me. Sigh... But this isn't something I can walk away from. I can't not love him. And I can't move on because I went out the other night and the whole time I was thinking, this kid is super nice, but he isn't Taylor. sigh... I know what i am doing is right, because I pray about it all the time, but am I really supposed to be hurting this much about it?
I need a job.... That is all there is to it. That would help things out a lot honestly.
Anyway, I just really needed to vent about my dearly beloved issues in my life. I am now done and I am going to go see my gramma now.
kisses.